Mother to Daughter

One morning, I was retwisting my daughter’s locs while she sat in a chair. She was listening to music through her earbuds that were connected to her laptop. As I focused on her hair, I felt compelled to glance down at her screen. She had just chosen a playlist to listen to and set her laptop on the floor in front of her. The cover art of the song caught my attention as it featured two people with their arms intimately wrapped around each other against a red background. I immediately detected a specific tone the artist intended to set by those who listened just by glancing at the cover art. This made me curious about the song she was listening to. I called her name to make sure she could hear me and after she responded, I asked her the name of the song.

She was silent.

I assumed she may not have known the title, so I followed up by asking what the song was about.

She remained silent.

I repeated both questions.

She looked me in my eyes and said nothing.

I began to wonder if the song was inappropriate and expressed my suspicion.

Yet, there was still no answer from her.

I was feeling increasingly disrespected, and told her to go to her room until she was ready to discuss the song. She looked me in my eyes, and remained seated. I gently tugged at her arm to pull her up, but she resisted by pushing her weight down into the chair. At this point, I told her in all sternness to go to her room. She stood, then chuckled while asking why she had to go to her room. Appalled that she had asked that, I responded, “Are you kidding me? Go. To. Your. Room!” She finally walked to her room.

While I remained in the kitchen, I took a moment to pray to the Lord for guidance and strength. I was completely lost from what I had witnessed in just a matter of minutes, and not only that, my right fingers were twitching like they were preparing for a good ole’ backhand. Suddenly, I heard a loud bang coming from her room. I rushed to her room to find out what had happened. She explained that she had hit the television out of anger. I asked her what she was upset about and if she even had a right to feel that way. She then continued to look at me as if she was trying to think of something to say. I told her to sit down on her bed hoping it would encourage her to reflect. Then, I stepped out of her room and returned to the kitchen. Shortly after, I heard thumping noises coming from the bathroom. So, I peeked inside to find her tapping her head against the wall. I quickly entered the bathroom, pulling her arm to guide her away from the wall while asking what was wrong. At that moment, she broke down in tears as she wrapped her arms around me and repeatedly said, “I’m sorry.” I comforted her by rubbing her back and thank God for her release. 

Once she calmed down, I asked her what had happened. She responded, “I wanted to speak, but it felt like something was stopping me from speaking.” With ease, she began to explain the song she was listening to, which I had already looked up while she was in her room. As I resumed retwisting her locs, I shared my thoughts with her, connecting her experience to Scripture about the struggle between the spirit and flesh. I explained how, in life, we face battles that are not merely physical, but spiritual according to the apostle Paul:

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this  dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12).

She was familiar with this in Scripture as I have often referenced it in our many conversations. I explained how something that can seem so harmless like listening to a song, can have a negative impact. The impact isn’t always seen with natural eyes. What may seem as “just a song” may have powerful lyrics that can become deeply ingrained in your mind and lead to negative thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns, which gives the devil a foot hole to come right on in. For this reason, it’s important to reflect on these questions with any song you listen to: 1) What is the artist saying in the song?; 2) What am I being asked to do according to the words in the song?; and 3) Who is this song glorifying?  If the song isn’t pointing you to a righteous living in Christ, then it’s not food you should be digesting.

Oftentimes, we leave ourselves unguarded and open for attack by what we choose to expose ourselves to and what we continue to feed ourselves mentally and spiritually. The apostle Paul makes it clear that our battle is against what we cannot see, and that the spiritual armor that is given to us by God should be worn daily to stand against the schemes of Satan. In other words, daughter, guard yourself and be cautious of what you choose to receive from this world. 

Morgan